One of the sexiest things you can posses as a woman is the ability to be honest.
Honest with yourself about your situations and honest with others about your situation.
Somewhere along the road of Life we have been ‘taught’ to hide the truth so that others accept us, by meeting their criteria.
We seek THEIR acceptance over US accepting our truth.
Take for example financial situations.
(This also applies to our health, education, relationships, life choices and anything else you can insert here that humans judge others about)
I know I grew up not having a great relationship with money because we were ‘poor’. I always believed that was what I would be. As I grew up and earnt money from my jobs I still had that belief and so I spent every cent I earnt.
When my corporate career took off I still had the underlying behaviour yet I would put on a front that I had money, that I lived in fancy houses, but rarely mentioned I rented and ate cheese sandwiches for dinner. I had car loans, personal loans, credit cards and it got me into trouble. And now I don’t even remember what that money bought me.
It ended up being $50k trouble shortly after I started my business and wasn’t making any money.
And I continued to hide behind the story of being perfect and having status – it nearly took my life because I couldn’t be honest with what was happening or be honest with those that needed to know.
Banks would call hourly. Demand letters would come daily. And car repo happens at any hour!
The game changer was when I realized that I don’t need social acceptance of what IS, I NEEDED TO ACCEPT WHAT IS and ‘woman up’ about it. When I CHOSE to take responsibility and be ok rather than shame myself about something I had never been taught about.
It’s like beating yourself up because you didn’t learn Japanese at school and the most you know is ‘konichiwa’!
In life we make the best decisions based on what we know at any given point in time.
If I knew then what I know now, would I have racked up $50k in debt AND start a business at the same time?
No, not at all.
But I believed I could make a difference and trust the Universe would take care of me. The Universe might not have taken care of my debt but it did ensure that I was unsuccessful at suicide and can write this post for you.
And I’m very comfortable these days to say NO to stuff that I’m not prepared to get myself into more debt for, that doesn’t add value to my life or when I realise I’m about to make a financial mistake. I CHOOSE MY LIFE NOW. I love being honest with people that right now payment plans are my best option to commit to programs or courses because MY #1 goal this year is to be completely debt free. It’s empowering to be honest. To own my situation. And those awesome people I choose to learn from completely respect that and we can have adult conversations about it without fear or rejection. Money is just an exchange for something of equal value.
Money is the 1 thing that humans will avoid questioning because we have so much ‘behind the scenes’ going on around it. Yet when we can have openness and honesty that can just BE (rather than being questioned by what ‘others’ think we should be able to do/be/invest) we take the power back for our situation and can move forward without shame, embarrassment or fear of looking like a dick because we missed Money101 life class.
So to the women seeking more in any area of your life, and knowing that it’s ‘not right now’ because you’re taking responsibility for your pennies, I applaud you.
(Business coaches around the world are smashing their heads against the wall at me right now as this goes completely against the rule of ‘calling you in your shit because you’re hiding behind money as the problem!)
I get you.
Seriously – when money is always in the back of your mind it will hinder you being fully present in anything. So take care of getting your back end in order and then give 110% of yourself in whatever you choose to invest in: be it personal coaching, education, first house, traveling or whatever else makes your debt free heart sing.
Money is not the root of all evil.
Money is choice of life.